Hil was really pissed 10 years ago.*

 (This is crush party '96. Not a wedding pic.)

She thought J was taking me away from her. And she cried and cried and cried.

But then my lovely and still lifelong friend ED slipped her some hard lemonade he stole at a minor league baseball game ("Let's go Riverdogs!") and she got over it, and mocked a security officer on Seabrook Island. You can't keep Hil down for long.

Speaking of ED, he decided he would also get pretty wasted on the aforementioned lemonade, and that it would be a good idea in blistering South Carolina heat to put on a sumo wrestling suit and wrestle my friend KF into the field.  The people organizing this event were none too happy to realize how enthusiastic and drunk these wrestlers were, when the players had a slight delay while they pulled them off the playing field.  I'm not even telling the MD/DS story.

Ah, wedding memories.

10 years ago today, J and I were married on Seabrook Island, South Carolina. There were a lot of things I remember about that day.  I had lunch with JF and JB, two friends from my office.  I had big, ugly pageant hair (Note: if having a destination wedding, it probably is a good idea to get your hair done by someone other than a pageant hairdresser. I didn't have many options, but still!).  And I think there were half naked people watching us get married, but that is what happens when you get married on the beach.

(Our first trip to Seabrook, '96? I got super duper sick, and J got to talk about Howard Stern with my Aunt. 

Because that isn't awkward the first time you meet.)

Friends were up in Canada recently and I mentioned I had never seen my wedding video, and I don't have a wedding album.**  I told them I wanted to remember my wedding they way I remember it in my head. I have amazing memories of the way J looked at me when we were saying our vows, and the love in his eyes, and how I sobbed because this moment was finally here, and real.***  And the circle of people we had around us.  And having people we really cared about with us, enjoying a place we had grown to love.  Our wedding was everything we could have wanted and more. But in the end, it is just a party.

In true, typical A-J fashion, I don't have a fabulous gift for him today, or even a card. I don't know if we are exchanging gifts or if our upcoming, luxurious camping trip with small children (doesn't that sound romantic!) will be our gift to each other.  All I have for him is the love I had for him all of those years ago, multiplied and aged through babies, and death, and moves, and hurts, and loves, and all of the experiences that truly make up a marriage.  We are different, interesting, stronger now than we were 10 years ago.

I love you.

*But she is happy now, with J as her brother. I think.
**This is also due to a destination wedding.  When your original photographer, who was only charging you $225 to begin with, has to cancel and gives you a replacement guy who is only charging you $175 plus film? You end up with a lot to sort through. I do have some amazing pictures. And a lot of negatives. And I am excellent at procrastination.  
***Some of you know that J and I have been married twice. The second time was our Jewish wedding and I was 9 months pregnant with E. Yes, a shotgun wedding! 

Virginia Tech Lockdown: Two Countries Respond

Virginia Tech, the scene of a deadly shooting spree in 2007 that killed 32 people in our home state, was locked down for several hours today because some 14 year olds reported seeing someone holding something that looked like a gun. (It is still unclear if there was a gun, and there was no gunperson found today; no one was shot.)

There was interesting coverage, and more importantly, comments, in both the Washington Post and the Globe and Mail about this story.  The Post story focused on the quick response, the possible overreaction, and the ability to carry guns EVERYWHERE in Virginia, even though VT has declared itself to be a gun-free zone.  And, of course, in the home state of the National Rifle Association, if you had your weapon with you, you'd be able to shoot the gunman.  Duh.

The Globe and Mail's article and following comments dealt more with the fascination that this continues to happen at VT, and amazement that they let people purchase guns so easily. The idea that anyone can walk up to anyone at a gun show and purchase a weapon is very foreign.  Why would you allow people to do that? Duh.

It's very interesting how two fundamental approaches to weapons could be so opposite.

Happy Simcoe Day! Happy Canada Day! (Or Canada has tons of holidays.)

Monday was a Civic Holiday. It is a lovely, bureaucratic name for a day off, no?  It is the first Monday in August.

Looking a little deeper into my trusty source, Wikipedia, in Toronto the Civic Holiday is actually called Simcoe day.  It celebrates John Graves Simcoe, who was the first Lieutenant-Governor of Upper Canada (Ontario) and abolished slavery in U.C. in 1793, ending the practice by 1810.  He also moved the capital to Toronto, and designed Yonge and Dundas streets.

Before that, he fought for the British in the Revolutionary War, and almost killed George Washington.

We have a lot of holidays in Canada.  (Not that J enjoys them - he worked through most of Monday.)  I counted 12, including: Family Day, Good Friday, Boxing Day, Victoria Day and Easter Monday. The weirdest thing for being such a tolerant country is all of the religious holidays off.  But 77% of Canadians identify with some Christian religion (77%?), so I guess that it makes sense.

A weird thing about holidays is what closes and what is open. For example, most malls are closed on Family Day, in February. What?! What else are you supposed to do with your family in February but shop? Grocery stores are also mainly closed, so you have to be prepared with adequate supplies of food.  But it isn't consistent, and depends on the holiday.

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Which brings me to Canada Day, which was last month. It is like Fourth of July, but in Canada. Actually, it just celebrates the confederation of Canada, not any sort of Independence from Britain, since they are still pretty connected, having the same Queen and all. However, they do fireworks, and picnics, and are as patriotic as Canadians get. Which is... not very.  Our neighbors told us that we were "very American" for putting Canadian flags in our front lawn.  And we went to an AWESOME neighborhood BBQ organized by one of our neighbors.

This is how you get ready for Canada Day. First, you get your kids excited by watching Are We There Yet, World Adventure, Canada Day.

Then, you need to purchase some Canadian festive attire. Fortunately, Old Navy is in Canada for just such needs.  And Canadian Dollar.  We were the only family (ahem, neighbors!) who were completely decked out. (We did actually buy and wear the cowboy hats on the right.)

Then, you walk down the street with your goodies to your park, which your neighbors have thoughtfully decorated and organized. There are a few grills, serving hamburgers and hot dogs, donated side dishes and desserts, crafts for the kids (so they can decorate their bikes in maple leaves, of course!) and alcohol on someone's property, because we are a rule-abiding bunch.  There is also an amazing cake someone made!

Last, but not least, it is important that you have some hippy-trippy friends in your Canadian neighborhood to organize your drum circle.

We did not stay for fireworks, but I hear they were pretty great.  We plan to do something similar around Labour Day, I think, right, NL? 

We have a truly great neighborhood with really fabulous people, and I am grateful every day that we moved to such a super street. One of J's colleagues (nvdb), who has moved all over the world, was in Toronto when we were house hunting and gave us the best advice when we came back discouraged one night.  He said to find the neighborhood where you will be happy, even if you have to wait for it and go into temporary housing. While that didn't happen, we are happy and relieved to have ended up where we did, on a street with fun families, lots of cool kids and a great park. Thanks for welcoming us!