An American Shopping for Stuffing, and other Sad News

It is very sad to shop for stuffing in Canada, especially almost two months after Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving.

I needed the very large bag of Pepperidge Farm seasoned cubes. My father's chestnut stuffing recipe is specific on what kind of bread shall be used.  Yes, I could make some sort of stale bread substitute, but it is taking a risk with a sacred recipe.

Off I went to Loblaw's.  The big one, this time, not the little one - the one that is most like Wegman's.  And I asked multiple salespeople for help. And still did not get everything on my list. The bonus for you American shoppers? Absolutely no crowds. The downside? No sales, and nothing was easy to find.

There was stuffing at Loblaw's, if you think Stovetop Stuffing would work for Thanksgiving. 'No!' I scoffed, 'There has to be something better.' I went to a specialty store looking for a candy thermometer for this recipe and stuffing, and we came home with 3 different kinds of mixes to look at and evaluate for comparison purposes. Perhaps one will live up to the expectations.

Don't get me started on asking people if they have peeled chestnuts. They do, they just don't know where they are. I did, however, find that chestnut puree is a popular item here. Hmm.  In case you need to make chestnut stuffing, the recipe follows, with more fun notes.

*******

We are thankful but sad here right now. After Thanksgiving, we'll head to Charleston to celebrate the life of my Aunt.  To put her in perspective, I've called her Craze my whole life, she taught me to sew, I played dog in her kitchen, and she would listen with love to anything I told her. I loved this woman.  I am thankful she is not in pain, and thankful I saw her before she passed, but so sad that she is gone. We laughed with her right until the end.

E was sad tonight, too.  A few weeks ago, she told me that she got homesick sometimes and she cried at night.  I didn't know that - I had seen her cry maybe 3-4 times since we moved - but tonight I caught her in her room. She was looking at some pictures of her old school and was so heartsick about not being there, and about being left behind.

While I am sad that she is upset, and I am, so very, very sad, I am at the same time so incredibly thankful for the time we had at this school.  Her teachers and the entire staff were loving and amazing people that fed her with confidence and happiness every day.  I don't think she or S would have been able to handle our move with as much poise as they did without the love and care that they received there.  There were such lessons in community and friendship and goodness and empowerment.  To think of the emotional mom-guilt coaster I was on when I was working and leaving them! Now I would leave them there overnight if I could!  E would stay with them, because that is how much she trusted them, and loved them, and felt good about being there, safe in her world, to learn and grow.  S is the same way. He walks into his nursery classroom confident that he will be treated with respect and caring, since that is the way he has been treated since he was 15 months.

When you make decisions, you don't know how they will work out.  I was a planner, and this sometimes terrifies me, but I seem, maybe, to be getting better about moving with the flow of my life.  Reflecting on the past few years, I find that things sometimes fit in ways beyond what I would have thought. (Duh?) I read today this quote, and it seems to apply, "We'd all like a guarantee before making a decision or taking a risk, but the irony is that taking the risk is what opens us to our fate." Mark Nepo

*******

Dad's Chestnut Stuffing

1 c. boiled, peeled chestnuts. If you are smart, you will buy the kind already prepared. If not, google how to do this in the oven.
1/4 c butter
1/4 c onion, finely chopped (mom pre-chops this because she likes it more finely chopped than dad)
1/2 c celery (this too)
2 tsps salt
pepper
3 c bread cubes (see note above)
2/3 cup hot water
1 1/2 tsps. dried sage (we buy a new one every Thanksgiving)

In butter, saute onion and celery for 10 min.  Combine with hot water, sage, salt, pepper and bread cubes.  Add chestnuts and toss lightly.  Stuff in cavity of turkey. Extra can go in a casserole on the side and get baked. Don't overcook that, add broth if it gets too dry.  Cook. Eat. Delicious.

We often double or triple this recipe, and Dad is often making this in his PJ's, with coffee next to him, with J holding the freezing cold, slippery turkey. Dad barks out orders. "Hold it that way. Turn it this way." This is a manly project in our house.

Remembrance Day: November 11

My Dad enlisted in the Air Force during the Vietnam War. He was stationed for a year in Thailand.  

I grew up learning that my Grandma, his mom, was the first female Marine in Wisconsin.  She told stories about working at the Pentagon to my Dad.

Right now, in Canada, everyone is wearing poppies to commemorate Remembrance Day, which is tomorrow.  Commonwealth countries celebrate it on the day of the signing of the Armistice, 11/11/1918.   America celebrates Veterans Day* tomorrow.

I am not wearing a poppy.  While I will adopt most Canadian traditions, this one feels like one I can't assume authentically.  I am not Canadian, and my armed forces are American. (Though in researching this blog, I found that Americans wore poppies as well after WWI.)  It makes me a bit sad that we see red poppies everywhere in Canada, a decidedly non-military country, and not something similar in the U.S., where we are so very proud of our military folks.  I would need to wear an American flag pin, like an American politician, and that just isn't going to happen here.  Why don't we have a visible symbol to remember our Veterans?  

Our world is getting more complicated.  One of my former colleague's husbands is in Afghanistan. One of my friend's husbands was in Afghanistan. Both are civilians - one former military, one foreign service. But still in a country with combat.  Among my military friends,  one has relocated with her family to Europe for several years, and still another spends several months away from her husband while he is deployed.  Are you a veteran if you fly drones from a bunker in Colorado? What about if you are a civilian in a war zone? What about if you are a police officer fighting terrorism? (not to be too homeland security about it)

I don't have answers, but tomorrow at 11 a.m. our family will stop, and watch the news, and stand silently, and talk about what it means to remember those who fight to protect us and keep us safe, like Paul and Papa.  And we'll thank them and be proud of them.  

"in Flanders fields" by Canadian John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
      Between the crosses, row on row,
   That mark our place; and in the sky
   The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
   Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
         In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
   The torch; be yours to hold it high.
   If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
         In Flanders fields.

*The U.S. Government has decided that no apostrophe is grammatically correct in the spelling of this holiday.    

I'm a FSOL (french-as-second-language) parent

I began writing this post in my head as I was making pimento cheese for dinner, reflecting on my day as a parent volunteer in E's class.  As I've written about before, she's in French Immersion, and I have zero French. Zero.

We have parent conferences next week (they are called something different here, but you get the idea), and they are held universally throughout the city on a weekday evening and a weekday morning.  I received a letter from the Principal telling me there were 6 windows I could sign up for, and then I suspect the secretary will schedule them, since there are also slots for if you have other children at the school. So your conferences will be coordinated centrally.


Obviously, this was a completely new concept for me.  It still boggles my mind, that the school district is telling teachers and parents that meetings should take place at these times. No matter where you are in Toronto.

Then I got to thinking about other differences between FCPS and TDSB.  E doesn't have a homework calendar, like my friends with kids in FCPS schools. She doesn't even have homework. She gets a library book once in awhile. It's in French. I suppose if I were a *good* mother I would "work" with her on math or reading or something like that, but we color and play games and read books at night, and sometimes she gets out books she wants to read.  I keep telling myself it will come. She really likes Super Mario Brothers Wii and playing with friends. (Her friend issue has been resolved successfully, btw. Thanks for all of the suggestions.)

Then I started thinking, 'how would I even help with her homework? Google translator? I totally don't know French. Her teacher talks to me in French, I stare back at her with this stupid look on my face.*  Then she repeats it in English.  Sometimes I get what she is saying in French, but most of the time the kids understand more than me. And then it hits me. All those exercises we do with ESOL teachers, to gain empathy for parents who don't speak English?  I totally AM that parent now, albeit voluntarily.'  I would not know how to help E with her homework. She would be totally on her own. I would encourage good work habits, but if she didn't read the instructions or tried to tell me something was done, and I didn't try to translate it, I would believe her.

I think I am lucky I have a kinder teacher for E who is totally into the K experience, but I worry that I am missing out on something I should be doing, either in French or in English.  I imagine that is the concern of every parent, but particularly ones who don't speak the language their children are being taught.

Today, I am even more thankful for Christina Viscomi, Susan Amaral, classroom teachers with ESOL students and all of the other supporters of ESOL families.  What an awesome challenge and experience.



*Today I was asked, in front of the kids, if I knew the alphabet or how to count to 30 in French. Um, no.
Oops. Something to study before next week.

Your tax dollars at work

What Canada supports with tax dollars and what Americans are willing to support are two very different things.


Take public schools as an example.


There are 4 public school systems in the province of Ontario:  the French public system, the French Catholic system, the English public system and the English Catholic system.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Catholic schools are publicly funded in the province of Ontario.  I don't know why Catholic schools have been chosen as opposed to other religions, but my understanding is that it was a political decision in the 70s.  


The French system is different than the immersion program than E attends.  The French system is for Francophone parents, that is, for parents who speak French to their children at home.  And, we aren't Catholic.  (Sorry, Sylvia.)  The only system E and S are eligible for are the English public system.  


E attends a lovely French immersion program at a local elementary school. It is a half-day program (next year, all schools are scheduled to move to full day, but this transition has been problematic).  Her teacher is delightful and teaches now entirely in French, and the program is set up that she will not be instructed in English until grade 4.  Beginning in grade 4, she will receive an hour of instruction in English a day, and that will gradually increase until she is fully bilingual.  If we were scheduled to be here until she graduated from high school, her diploma would be be a bilingual diploma.  


It seems inconsistent to me, though, that they would publicly fund only Catholic schools yet include ALL holidays on their public school calendars. Shouldn't the Province then fund all religious schools? 

Maybe next year I can send E to the French Immersion Wiccan school. Or maybe I've just been watching too much True Blood.


P.S. I heart Eric Northman. And Blessings Be.