Oy Vey! And, Gaga's Got a Gun

I forgot to post about my other new favorite restaurant, Caplansky's Deli. Yum.  Montreal smoked meat is really, really good and I had the hash. I can't eat it often, but boy it is delicious.  The t-shirts say that they are "Kicking it Old-Shul" so next time my meat-eating friends come up (I'm talking about you, Dad, B.R., and any others interested) we will need to go back.




But really, we need to talk about the fact that my mother, who is turning old this year (sorry, mom), informed me that when she moves to Tucson later this year, she and my father will be purchasing guns*.  Ostensibly, they will be to kill the Javalina pigs while she is walking in the desert.  The desert is a dangerous place full of animals to kill. 

As it is clear in the picture, a bow and arrow would work just as well, Mom.  And now my dad's annual gifts from the Bass Pro Shop won't go to waste, because my mom will really be able to use desert camo.  I expect pictures like this to be posted regularly to her upcoming blog, Gaga and Guns.  I asked if guns come in pink and flowers and if the gun safe will be purple.  My mom actually marched in the Million Mom March, so this turn of events is somewhat surprising.  

J was shocked... and appalled.  Then he realized the possibility of Javalina back bacon and ribs, and he became a little happier.  We've not yet identified if there is a butcher in Arizona who will process and ship meat internationally, but I'm sure that Gaga will handle that right after the gun class.  And we decided if the pig killed her, and we had to have a funeral, we would serve Javelina carnitas at the funeral.  That wouldn't be in bad taste, would it? 

So, sing with me in this tune, dedicated to my mom:

Gaga's Got a Gun

Gaga's got a gun

Gaga's got a gun

Her mind has come undone

from being under the hot desert sun

What did that piggy do?

Did he snort on you?

They say when Gaga moved to Tucson

She went a little crazy - Tea Party! ! !

The piggy didn't have it comin'

Now that Gaga has a gun

Things ain't never gonna be the same

*No one in our family obviously supports violence against people, including the most recent violence against Gabrielle Giffords and staff in Tucson.  I felt like I needed to make this disclaimer given the topic/location. 

And my Dad is less easy to make fun of, because he is a Air Force Veteran, so has firearms experience. Actually, I have more firearms experience, because I've actually taken a firearm safety class. Little known fact, eh?  Thanks for being a good sport, Mom. Love you.