Ellie at 6

I got peed on in my sleep last night. Not by J. Luckily.  S is still sneaking, ninja-spy style into our bed, and I woke up in what smelled like a urinal in Bryd Stadium during the fourth quarter.

Before kids, I would have thought after 6 years of parenting that I would have been through this already. I would have thought that my children would have both been fully potty trained, including at night, and that S would no longer use his paci at night.  I would have thought that, while the early years would have been tough,  I would have been through them by now.  This older me laughs and gently mocks that younger and more naive me when her back is turned while she is trying to nurse a new baby with a toddler hanging around.

J does not get peed on, by the way.  He mysteriously stays dry, while I just try to find a dry spot on my pillow (because you don't think I got up, do you? sleep is hard to come by, people).  

E celebrated turning 6 years old a few weeks ago.  Looking at her, I can't believe she is six.  I can't believe she started life outside of my body at almost 7 pounds and now she is a French-speaking, Wii-playing kindergartener.  She is capable of pouring her own milk, going to the bathroom on her own (mostly) and tries to teach S various things she probably shouldn't.  She is mischievous and funny and loving.  She is learning how to stand up for herself.  E is proving to be an awesome skier and I'm hoping she learns to swim to the end of the pool by the end of the school year.  In many ways, she is mirroring her toddler years - she goes to do something independent, and then is still very needy, cuddly and needs a lot of reassurance.  

Parenting continues to surprise me at how hard it is every single day.  I keep thinking that I will be good at it.  Maybe this week will be the turn around!  Mostly E and S are fine, and it is my own expectations that I am failing to meet. I am not reading to them enough, they watch too much television, they bicker with each other too much.  Then I try to do a reality check and tell myself that everything is a continuum and that they are well within the normal range on everything, and not every day is going to be perfect.  

And let's be honest, folks, how much can one adult play ________? You can really fill in the blank with any children's toy. I would rather play with a cardboard box than most toys. Actually, I got in trouble with J for buying E this cardboard box for her birthday.  

J and I talked with E over the past few weeks about how hard it is to be the oldest kiddo.  She gets to stay up late with us sometimes, and talk to us, but she also has to be the test case for a lot of our parenting mistakes, and be the responsible one.  Both J and I commiserated with her on how hard it is, and how well she does at being kind to S and teaching him the right things to do.  

Six years ago, I was up every few hours. She couldn't talk, or laugh, but I loved her so much! Now, she is sharing when she is hurt, and what she wants, and sometimes she has an attitude I would find hilarious if I were not her mother.  E is a delight, in every way. We are so lucky to have such a great kid as our daughter.